Addressing holiday stressors: Advice from a Behavioral Health Specialist
SOUTH BEND, Ind. -- A poll from the American Psychiatric Association shows Americans are more anxious about the holidays this year, compared to last.
Among the holiday-related concerns were things like affording or finding holiday gifts, missing someone or grief, or challenging family dynamics.
ABC57’s Jordan Tolbert spoke to Paul Sexton, LCSW, a Behavioral Health Specialist with The South Bend Clinic, about holiday stress.
“I think people are feeling more anxious this year than in years past, just because of how much uncertainty is going on in our world, not just in the world, but in the neighborhoods that we live in and the communities that we are in as well. You know, I hear so often from the patients that I serve that they're concerned about putting food on the table,” said Sexton.
He says the anxiety surrounding what we experience during the year can be amplified during the holiday period and there can be shame around not being able to provide the same experience this year, compared to years past. Sexton says those expectations can amplify anxiety.
“So often I hear from parents and also just adults in general, about how stressful this time of year can be with all of the additional responsibilities that come along, whether that's, you know, making reservations, flight plans, you know, going grocery shopping for dinners, and also, of course, gifts,” said Sexton.
Sexton says it’s important to validate feelings of being overwhelmed.
“I like to think about the plate idea, you know, there's so much stacked up on our plates. And if we could just notice that there is a little bit more on our plates, I think we can be a little bit more compassionate and kinder towards ourselves,” said Sexton.
He says being aware of feelings, good or bad, can help.
“So often, we associate this time of year with, you know, joy and happy and celebration, but there's also feelings of, you know, loss, sadness and even some anger. So even just naming that, I use a strategy with my patients, name it to tame it. So often, we don't know what we're up against unless we identify it first," said Sexton. "Noticing when I feel lonely versus sad versus anger, and that can be a really, really great first step. [The] next thing is just to help with regulation for us adults, it's a little bit easier than it is for our little ones. So I think one of the things that we can do is just to notice when things are hard and just say them out loud, and especially in front of our kids, just say, ‘Mommy's having a really hard time,’ or, you know, ‘Dad's really struggling right now because we're in traffic, or we're waiting in line to check out our groceries.’”
He says deep breathing can help, as well as engaging with the senses and being aware of what you are seeing, hearing and touching. Additionally, Sexton says to slow down during this busy time and pay attention to what’s happening around you.
“What I think people want most around this time of the year is connection and deep connection, at that. So, I think that's why we lean into these times with family and friends. And so, you know, we're just wanting to also experience like laughter and love and joy and warmth. And so, I think those are some of the positive benefits of getting together,” said Sexton. “I know from my experience, we often try to cram a lot into a short amount of time, especially this year with, you know, the way that the holidays are falling middle of the week, and so I often lean on this phrase, and I'll lean on it all year long, Is that saying no to others is saying yes to yourself, or saying yes to yourself is saying no to others. It's an important lesson that we all learn, because we can't say yes to everything, right?”